It has been a while since I have posted because I have either been too tired to do it or I have been afraid I may say something I shouldn't;) We have had Hannah for just over a month now and overall she has adjusted really well. I would say that it is me who is having a hard time adjusting. Trying to divide my time between three children who need me in three different ways is quite a challenge. There has been some acting out, behavior-wise, with Sarah Grace and Jacob. Trying to find the balance between giving grace and discipline has been tough, but that is getting better. Some days I feel like I am failing terribly, but this week I feel like we are all turning a corner. I will say something that is still very difficult at times is Hannah and Stephen's relationship. Weekends are great because he is around so much, but when he has been at work all day and then gets home it is AWFUL. I really dread this time of day for many reasons. Hannah Marie has found her voice and she is NOT afraid to use it. When Stephen gets home all he wants to do is spend time with her and she wants nothing of the sort. If I leave the house all together she cries for a bit and then will do great with him, but if I am home and she knows it, she will start this blood curdling scream until I come "rescue" her. I try to ignore it but she is relentless. I went to bed with the most severe headache last night, due to her scream. Poor Stephen, he gets really frustrated. Sarah Grace and Jacob have always taken to him so he is not use to the rejection:(.
She is starting to interact with her brother and sister more which is really good. They love her sooooo much. Sarah Grace has been such a huge help and thank goodness Hannah is tolerating her more and more each day. (SG smothers her at times;)) Looking back over the past few weeks her appearance has changed too. She is filling out more and has gotten 3 new teeth. She is babbling a lot more and understands most of what we say to her....which still amazes me. The doctors talk about a speech delay, but I am not worried. We had her hearing checked and it is fine. It will just be a matter of time before we hear her speak some English words. I have some really sweet pics but don't have them uploaded yet. I will post them soon, I promise.
It has not been easy, but overall I think it has gone better than expected. When people ask how it is going it is very difficult to sum it up in just a few short words. My heart is so thankful when Hannah looks into my eyes or when she snuggles into my chest. I also feel torn to pieces when I cannot meet everyone's needs and all I want to do is jump in my car and drive. There are so many ups and downs and my emotions can change in seconds! It is, however, starting to feel more "normal" around her but I think with three kids dinner to bedtime will always feel like a circus. I am overwhelmed with the love I have for each one of my munchkins! Praise be to God!!
Love,
Kim
